Dealing with a breakup?

Marcg868 · World Chat Champion Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Karma :

Any advice to getting over splitting up with gf? been together just over a year, and fell in love. Basically split up due to her family not liking me. She still loves me, i still love her, but her family wont let her see me again, and my mum wont let me see her again.

Just feel so so down, not stopped crying today, was fine when was out on bikes with the lads, but when i got home and im on my own it just hits me again. Crying or Very sad

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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

It'll take time mate. Then you'll get nailed and sleep with someone and that will help a little. Laughing

Seriously though, it will take time. Or your other option is to stand up to her parents. Which I would do.

michael j · World Chat Champion Joined: 14 Jan 2006 Karma :

Have you done anything to upset her parents? Is it worth going round for a man to man chat with her old man to explain how you feel?
Failing that, get yourself a good old fashioned heroin habit, that will take your mind off it.(joking!!)
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Ducati 996

Marcg868 · World Chat Champion Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Karma :

Long long story, all kicked off when a biker mate of mine wanted to go meet her (gf) this was friday, so we went in, i said hi to lynz and said im going stay out your way, and she said thats fine. So was all fine, till get home and gf texts saying Dad n Her step mum werent pleased me going in, becoz they thought i was checking up on my gf, which me n her know that wasnt the case. Comes to sat i go in, me n lynz are being a bit off wi eachother, so go sit down with some lads,she comes over glass collecting, so try give her a hug, she has none of it, so obviously im a bit more annoyed and the lads im with start asking why, so i tell them whats up. And they say thats a bit weird in it, and saying do they not like you or some her family? and i dont answer, and then her dad starts having a go at that lad sayin he should not bad mouth her family then has a go at me. I didnt say anything about her family.

So ended up arguing wi him
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

yambabe · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

That's the lamest excuse I've heard for a while to be honest.

Her family "won't let" her see you? How they going to stop her? Lock her up? Chastity knickers? How old is this girl ffs?

If I recall your relationship has been going downhill for a while, with her wanting to go out with her friends and not see you. I think she's using her family as an excuse and trying to let you down gently.

I know it's hard, but the best thing you can do is walk away and stay away. It'll hurt, but that great cliche "time is a great healer" happens to be true. If she is your first real love you may never forget her but as you get to know other people and get on with your life it will get better.
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Sod falling in love, I wanna fall in chocolate. Very Happy

Marcg868 · World Chat Champion Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Karma :

She's playing with my head, she says she loves me and wants me back, but her family wont let her. She's 18 and she is having her family run her life for her. They were the ones that ruined this relationship. Crying or Very sad

i need to get the pain away, sick of crying.
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

msgander · Brolly Dolly Joined: 31 Aug 2005 Karma :

move on, accept that anyone who is 18 who can blame their parents, isnt worth your tears....most 18 year olds I know (including me at that age once) would have told parentswhere to go or legged it from home!

Cut ALL contact, it will get easier with time and we have all been there, its crap, you gotta go through it but time is the healer....
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Always believe that your guardian angel flies a bit faster than you...............

colin1 · Captain Safety Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :

aww that sick of crying bit made me feel for you
ive recently been dumped too and dont have any answers but im glad i dont feel as bad as you do.

maybe you shd try to get her back
maybe you shd try to get another girl
maybe you shd be on your own for a bit and enjoy your freedom

i dont know as ive got no idea for myself either

im glad u shared with us even if some insensitive prick comes along in a bit to take the piss

just ignore them they dont know the situation anyway
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colin1 is officially faster than god

ZRX61 · Victor Meldrew Joined: 05 Nov 2003 Karma :

Grow a pair..... Rolling Eyes

Absolute_Kwackers · Renault 5 Driver Joined: 08 Jan 2006 Karma :

lol ZRX!

know the feeling mate, its been 3 months and still not over the last female, a lot happier now still get the red mist when i see her with her BF, but eventually i realised if its going to happen it will happen, maybe not today, tomorrow or next year but if its right it will happen!

The best thing i found was to use all the anger, misery, stress etc etc and put it to good use, focus on something different, i used gym and getting fit and im a lot more focused, working more to buy more things i love like my bike!

everything takes time, if you have good mates they will help aswell i got some great mates who are good listeners etc, and are good drinkers aswell lol, get out and enjoy yourself, life is too short!

hope that kinda helps!

Marcg868 · World Chat Champion Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Karma :

colin1 · Captain Safety Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :

yeah i reckon u shd give it a go
i wd anyway
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colin1 is officially faster than god

Marcg868 · World Chat Champion Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Karma :

Just its coming up to our aniversary in April. I need to cure my insecurity, its not as bad as some lads, but it does affect how i am with her. Think ive finally got it into my head she aint no cheat, she's also been getting insecure,coz she thinks i dont love her.

Just reckon we should start a fresh, take things slowly and rebuild it, and just remind ourselfs of the reason we got together, and thats the attraction and how we can have a laugh with eachother?
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

TL666 · Trackday Trickster Joined: 23 Mar 2005 Karma :

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

Marcg868 · World Chat Champion Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Karma :

Yeah it is true that theres plenty of nice girls out there, but the thing is me and this girl have known eachother for a long time and wanted eachother for ages. I know she loves me, because she does show it, and the way she begged for me not go when we had this argument on saturday showed me alot.

I just cant help but feel insecure, i dont know where its come from?! its not as bad as it once but i don not want it to destroy, what has the potential to become a very good and long happy relationship. I need to get over that, and now she's finally showing some committment by making her own choices, not being bullied about by her Dad, and her thinking, that her family will think she's being selfish if she wants spend time with me.

End of the day, its never been us arguing over something we've done, its always been something like her family, other people interfering. Like her sister can not stop but interfereing with our relationship. She's been told, but she nearly fucked it up this time by shit stirring.

I do love her, and its given back just as much. Just want to stop the interferance and insecure feelings sometimes.
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

Kwaks · I'm not a fast rider Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Karma :

Sorry mate to hear the way you are feeling. Sounds to me like the family are siding with her as she has been up to no good. There is no way my gf would stand in the bogs talking to another guy and ignore me walking by. It shows no respect for you as a person. Splitting up is hard, but sometimes it is for the best. You would find some one else,and to be honest the feeling I get is she is up to no good. Why else would the family have a problem with you popping in to see her? Unless they thought that if by doing so you would see something you shouldn't.
Best of luck whatever you do, but just remember,just because you may be paranoid doesnt mean it isnt happening. Sad

Marcg868 · World Chat Champion Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Karma :

j033y · Derestricted Danger Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Karma :

well mate basically give it a couple of months and all will be looking better... my key points although harsh are true:

1. if your finished cos of family on her side i guess it was her who ended it and therefore it might be her nice young way of saying its not you its my family... when it might not be!!!!!!

2. If you are an insecure lad, now you have broken up and she may well have copped offf with another lad, how are you gonna feel getting back with her knowing she either has a may of and just not saying!!!

3. Its better to loved and lost than to not of loved at all... and i am speaking from experience here, i am 22 and just lost 4 months ago my gf of 5 years... believe me i know it hurts

You will get over her
You will feel better
You will move on quicker than you think

basically set a date say next week, and up to that date your allowed to cry winge moan scream watever about her, but after that day, put on a different tie, drive a differenbt way to work, snap out of the routine, keep your head up and dont let her get to you ...